The argument under the argument
You're probably not really arguing about the thing you're arguing about.
Most recurring conflicts are one conflict wearing different clothes. We help you see what's actually happening between you, and then give you something you can do with it.
What we work on
The way it escalates: who moves towards the other person and who moves away, and what each of you is protecting at the moment it turns. How to say something so that it lands rather than wounds. How to repair afterwards, which is a skill you can learn rather than something you either have or don't.
Underneath that there's usually the ordinary material of a shared life. Trust, money, in-laws, who notices what needs doing, and the slow drift that neither of you named until the gap had already opened.
What it isn't
It isn't a courtroom. Your counsellor won't decide who's right and won't be swayed by evidence, however compelling. It also isn't automatically an attempt to keep the relationship together. Sometimes the honest outcome is a separation that's clear and kind and properly supported, and doing that part well matters enormously, especially where there are children.
If your partner won't come
Working on a relationship on your own is far more useful than most people assume. Understanding how you get close, how you defend yourself and when you withdraw changes the dynamic by itself, because a system with one part behaving differently is a different system. Come on your own. It isn't a lesser version of the work.
Common questions
Before you begin
Can we join from different places?
Yes, and plenty of couples do. You can be in the same session from two different locations, which a lot of people find easier to arrange around work.
What if one of us has already decided?
Say so at the first conversation. Work focused specifically on whether to stay or go is a different process from couples therapy, and we'll tell you clearly which one you're actually in.
How long are couples sessions?
Ninety minutes is standard when there are two of you. An hour rarely gets much past the opening.
Ready when you are.
Fifteen minutes, free, no clinical intake. Just a conversation about whether this is the right room for what you're carrying.