The stretch in between
Something has ended, and the next thing hasn't arrived yet.
A separation, a diagnosis, a job that finished, a move you didn't want to make. The hardest part is usually afterwards, when nothing is settled.
Why the middle is harder than the event
Most people get through the news itself. What tends to undo them is the months that follow, when the old structure has gone and nothing has replaced it, and every ordinary decision has to be made deliberately because the person who used to make them without thinking isn't there any more.
That disorientation isn't a failure to cope. It's an accurate response to being between two versions of your life, and it doesn't respond well to being rushed.
What we work on
The grief inside the change, which often goes unacknowledged because the change was your idea or because everyone else thinks it's good news. The question of who you are now, which is usually sitting just behind the practical questions. The pressure from people who'd like you to be fine again. And the practical steadying: sleep, some structure, and a small number of decisions you can make this week instead of all of them at once.
The changes nobody thinks are hard
Some losses come with sympathy attached. Others come with congratulations, which makes them lonelier. Retirement, a promotion, a child leaving home, a house you finally managed to buy. Any of them can carry a real grief that you feel you're not allowed to mention. You can mention it here.
Common questions
Before you begin
Is this counselling or coaching?
Counselling. Coaching works forward from a goal you've already set. This works with everything the change has disturbed, including the parts you'd rather leave alone.
How long does this kind of work take?
Often less time than trauma work, though it depends entirely on what the transition has brought to the surface underneath it.
I chose this change and I still feel awful.
That's extremely common and it isn't evidence that you chose wrongly. Losses you chose are still losses, and wanting something doesn't exempt you from grieving what it cost you.
Ready when you are.
Fifteen minutes, free, no clinical intake. Just a conversation about whether this is the right room for what you're carrying.